For most fathers they'd take pride in bringing up their sons to be exactly who they should be.
Mine is no different, except at times he plays modest...
Note: Stop at 1:18 mark.
We all know Carlos isn't original.
Isn't that funny? "Hi, mom!"
Fine pops, you wanna be modest?! Be modest...
Fine pops, you wanna be modest?! Be modest...
28
28 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”
In honor of my mother's birthday...I present these May flowers for the world to share.
"WOMAN, THOU ART BLESSED!"
......
Oh great and eternal God, we come to you thanking you for parents, mentors, providers, guardians. Those who give of themselves in hopes that these your little ones might grow into what you've destined them to be. May those who are parents or even consider themselves to be take their role seriously, for everyone is a gift, an investment that has been entrusted. Surely you want a "prosperous" return on the talent you are lending out.
Amen.
Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)
6 Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
.....
I was a young tike in elementary. So many things had changed since my parent's generation. Things were new and for many of the current-age parents unfamiliar, much as it is today with all of these games kids/teens play in an effort to fit in; yet another story.
The one thing I could not stand and would not ever tolerate is someone talkin' bout my momma.
"Ya mammy..." Hold up....what?! #rightHook
SN: In many cases the term mammy was used between ethnic minorities b.k.a black people. We knew the amount of rage and nature of response to be incendiary, and thus if necessary to 1-up another we'd "go there". It's as if to say that your mother is anything less (of that).
The rest as they say is history and it pretty much went like that, minus the glitz and glam of today's prize fights. My mother would always reassure me that I need not take offense at what people were saying because they didn't know her. She didn't understand though. These people were talkin' bout "my momma". Try me if you wanna, but don't play with the fam. It will get you...Thank God for grace.
At some point I begin to hold on to her unsightly wisdom and not take everything into offense as quickly as I would, after all I was only playing my role in what was culture at the time. Yo' momma jokes were rampant, ragging on each others articles of clothing or lack thereof was the norm, and don't get caught not being cool enough because you were _____. That's just how it went.
#flashForward or backwards depending on how you look at it.
Some time ago I got a chance to watch the world renowned movie "The Help". It was very awe inspiring and it touched me deeply to know that the events portrayed in the cinematic scenery were not much different from what goes on these days in rearing potential productive citizens of society. The term "mammy" is specific to the time and place portrayed in this film, as black women in particular played a role all too often subjected to them throughout history as a result of their providing nurture in a natural construct.
Check out this clip...sometimes a picture or video really is worth at least 1000 words.
I think what interests me the most about this biographical undertaking is the fact that "we" (i.e. Black women) helped raise their (i.e. White people) babies for them. Think on that for a second..."The Help" did exactly what the parents should have been doing all along, raising their own kids...
Who's raising/will raise your kids?! I hear more dads are staying at home due to the economy; somewhat of a "Joseph" situation (i.e. The father of Jesus), doing what's necessary to not only provide but fulfill their duty. Sometimes gender roles aren't what they've been cracked up to be over the years. Essentially "the help" were parents without a title. Whether they were recognized as such is another story in and of itself.
I personally was raised partially by both sets of my grandparents. In one instance I stayed with a grandmother while my youngest sibling was on the way, on another note I spent what seemed to be "forever" with my other grands at some point in my young life. All of these experiences helped contribute to my eventual growth. If it helps for context these sets of grands included teachers, child care providers, preachers and so on...
The trick to understand here is that growth is hard. No one fully gets it and by the time you do have a grasp on it you've already matured beyond the point where you "didn't know any better".
Cyclical Progression
You're born, you live and then you die.
Your life is but a midst, represented by a dash between two numbers.
Your life is no longer than the width of your hand (Psalm 39:5).
We go from being babies, to adolescents; young adults...at some point becoming full adults and then we are the elderly folks who get discounts at our favorite restaurants.
Coming into the world as a babe we're taken care of. Before we leave this world as an elder we're taken care of, between those two we grow and at some point we begin to decline; lock-step with God's natural order...making room for the new by ridding the old.
Look around you.
How would you classify the skill-set of those currently holding the position of parents? Are there too many young parents? Know any parents who don't have a clue on how to raise their kids? What about those who are still children themselves despite their maturity assigned to them via age (i.e. If they ever matured at all)?
I'm not suggesting that the state of parenting is in shambles but I am saying that there are folks out there who can be better parents if only they had the proper tools. Many of us want better than what we had but at times aren't fully sure on how to obtain what seems like a "lofty goal". Just in case you're wondering the Bible does provide an excellent introduction, narration, and guideline to the "art of parenting".
So...what about those kids who can't get their @%$^&*!)- together...you know those we always see on television. We take them to the jails and have them share meals with hardened criminals in hopes that this might change their outlook. Attempts at proving how costly their consequences can be to them and society may work at times; however, we need something more, going "beyond scared straight".
Why scare them in the first place? Is life something to be feared?! Why not just be honest and help them to understand that there are reasons why they feel the way they way do, and whether they like it or not they can not and will not do what they want?
Parenting Paradigms
P.S. Don't ask me how I'm qualified to talk about parenting. I just am. Some people tell me I'll make a great dad. Not sure where they got that from >_< ...
#culturalContext
In Jacksonville, FL they've been working on a campaign called "ONE X ONE". A good friend of mine headed this up and I do believe that it has garnered tremendous support within the Duval county region. Essentially we're pressing forward to do what it takes to let our students know the following:
It's that simple really. We owe everything we have to our children and those who will take over after we leave some day. Sure I'm short of a quarter-century old but even I know that at some point I'll be the old black guy on the block with that "wisdom".
SN: I once had a random text conversation for about a week with some kid from the Jacksonville area. During the time he referred to me as "wisdom". Not sure whatever happened to him, but it was interesting...providing guidance via text to someone you've never met....chilly feeling.
What's my point?!
Why?
I was a young tike in elementary. So many things had changed since my parent's generation. Things were new and for many of the current-age parents unfamiliar, much as it is today with all of these games kids/teens play in an effort to fit in; yet another story.
The one thing I could not stand and would not ever tolerate is someone talkin' bout my momma.
"Ya mammy..." Hold up....what?! #rightHook
SN: In many cases the term mammy was used between ethnic minorities b.k.a black people. We knew the amount of rage and nature of response to be incendiary, and thus if necessary to 1-up another we'd "go there". It's as if to say that your mother is anything less (of that).
The rest as they say is history and it pretty much went like that, minus the glitz and glam of today's prize fights. My mother would always reassure me that I need not take offense at what people were saying because they didn't know her. She didn't understand though. These people were talkin' bout "my momma". Try me if you wanna, but don't play with the fam. It will get you...Thank God for grace.
At some point I begin to hold on to her unsightly wisdom and not take everything into offense as quickly as I would, after all I was only playing my role in what was culture at the time. Yo' momma jokes were rampant, ragging on each others articles of clothing or lack thereof was the norm, and don't get caught not being cool enough because you were _____. That's just how it went.
#flashForward or backwards depending on how you look at it.
Some time ago I got a chance to watch the world renowned movie "The Help". It was very awe inspiring and it touched me deeply to know that the events portrayed in the cinematic scenery were not much different from what goes on these days in rearing potential productive citizens of society. The term "mammy" is specific to the time and place portrayed in this film, as black women in particular played a role all too often subjected to them throughout history as a result of their providing nurture in a natural construct.
Check out this clip...sometimes a picture or video really is worth at least 1000 words.
I think what interests me the most about this biographical undertaking is the fact that "we" (i.e. Black women) helped raise their (i.e. White people) babies for them. Think on that for a second..."The Help" did exactly what the parents should have been doing all along, raising their own kids...
Who's raising/will raise your kids?! I hear more dads are staying at home due to the economy; somewhat of a "Joseph" situation (i.e. The father of Jesus), doing what's necessary to not only provide but fulfill their duty. Sometimes gender roles aren't what they've been cracked up to be over the years. Essentially "the help" were parents without a title. Whether they were recognized as such is another story in and of itself.
I personally was raised partially by both sets of my grandparents. In one instance I stayed with a grandmother while my youngest sibling was on the way, on another note I spent what seemed to be "forever" with my other grands at some point in my young life. All of these experiences helped contribute to my eventual growth. If it helps for context these sets of grands included teachers, child care providers, preachers and so on...
I'm personally a fan of multi-generational households, although this was not the case in my life.
The trick to understand here is that growth is hard. No one fully gets it and by the time you do have a grasp on it you've already matured beyond the point where you "didn't know any better".
Cyclical Progression
You're born, you live and then you die.
Your life is but a midst, represented by a dash between two numbers.
Your life is no longer than the width of your hand (Psalm 39:5).
We go from being babies, to adolescents; young adults...at some point becoming full adults and then we are the elderly folks who get discounts at our favorite restaurants.
Coming into the world as a babe we're taken care of. Before we leave this world as an elder we're taken care of, between those two we grow and at some point we begin to decline; lock-step with God's natural order...making room for the new by ridding the old.
Look around you.
How would you classify the skill-set of those currently holding the position of parents? Are there too many young parents? Know any parents who don't have a clue on how to raise their kids? What about those who are still children themselves despite their maturity assigned to them via age (i.e. If they ever matured at all)?
I'm not suggesting that the state of parenting is in shambles but I am saying that there are folks out there who can be better parents if only they had the proper tools. Many of us want better than what we had but at times aren't fully sure on how to obtain what seems like a "lofty goal". Just in case you're wondering the Bible does provide an excellent introduction, narration, and guideline to the "art of parenting".
So...what about those kids who can't get their @%$^&*!)- together...you know those we always see on television. We take them to the jails and have them share meals with hardened criminals in hopes that this might change their outlook. Attempts at proving how costly their consequences can be to them and society may work at times; however, we need something more, going "beyond scared straight".
Why scare them in the first place? Is life something to be feared?! Why not just be honest and help them to understand that there are reasons why they feel the way they way do, and whether they like it or not they can not and will not do what they want?
Parenting Paradigms
- Old School Parenting (i.e. Be home before the street lights come on)
- New School Parenting (i.e. Latchkey kids)
- No School Parenting (i.e. I'm "out" providing for us; raise yourself)
I remember when I worked in Central Florida, I'd often times have conversations with a coworker in particular (although I had conversations with several coworkers who were parents about parenting). She was what I would consider "overly" worried about her daughters. Being a single mother of 3, she had questions as to whether or not she was raising them properly, which I assured her that she was. Time and time again I'd remind her that her faith would prove that she had done right by her children. There was one soon to graduate high school and go off to college, which I'm sure would be tough for her emotionally. The 2nd oldest was a little younger in high school, and the baby was somewhere around middle school aged. She kept them involved in Soccer and their dad continued to be a part of their life. I also believe stereotypically within their culture extended family plays a big role as well. It's always good to have those around in the village who help raise the child. No matter when we had these conversations I'd point her back to the verse in Proverbs and let her know that her kids would be fine. As a mother of 3 daughters in today's time I can only imagine the amount of anxiety she must have been experiencing at the time.
P.S. Don't ask me how I'm qualified to talk about parenting. I just am. Some people tell me I'll make a great dad. Not sure where they got that from >_< ...
#culturalContext
In Jacksonville, FL they've been working on a campaign called "ONE X ONE". A good friend of mine headed this up and I do believe that it has garnered tremendous support within the Duval county region. Essentially we're pressing forward to do what it takes to let our students know the following:
- We love you.
- You will succeed.
- We're here to help.
It's that simple really. We owe everything we have to our children and those who will take over after we leave some day. Sure I'm short of a quarter-century old but even I know that at some point I'll be the old black guy on the block with that "wisdom".
SN: I once had a random text conversation for about a week with some kid from the Jacksonville area. During the time he referred to me as "wisdom". Not sure whatever happened to him, but it was interesting...providing guidance via text to someone you've never met....chilly feeling.
What's my point?!
No one gets anywhere positive without some information or guidance. The chances of it happening upon something in a true coincidental fashion is slim to none.Our children deserve better. My future deserves better. Let's give these people something to really hope for...an everlasting hope, garnered by a life in Christ. One full of abundance. You can try other ways but it won't be the same #guaranteed or your monies back :-)
Why?
The quick skinny:
- I took a run on May 2nd. The first time I've been out of my neighborhood since I moved here in August 2011. I saw children and it reminded how important they are to me (and to Jesus).
- Everyone likes birthdays!
What does this mean for me? #theReader
You owe it to yourself to parent somebody (i.e. Mentoring, Volunteering, Something).
For further insight: Read- An Expert Opinion, Back to the Block, Tough Soccer Mom, Liar Liar, Don't Say That!
This is F.U.N. (For Ur Needs) Use your KEYS
- Know that parenting isn't easy
- Expect to get it wrong (i.e. They don't come with guides)
- Your commitment will prove your children to be conquerors
- Stay the course
Challenge
- Find a child and tell them they're loved.
- Know that God loves you b/c you're His child (John 3:16).
- Make sure your child knows you love them and why.
- LISTEN to your children; for once!
- That means shut up and stop talking. You'll be amazed at what you learn.
- You don't know it all (Romans 12:16).
2 comments:
Love it! From contemporary parenting roles to nurturing roles like mentoring. From history, to today, to the future. Our kids need all of us, we are their hope and their example. The reality is our leadership in defining what it looks like to support kids will be the bridge that carries us into future generations. What a privilege we should all take ownership of-- very seriously. Great piece my friend! And thanks for the shout out for One by One. Indeed, we must act on behalf of our kids as a collective society!
Most definitely appreciate your feedback, coming from an expert out in the field! Stay tuned...
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