Why? Because it's May...and you know what that means! Graduation. I'm so much closer to becoming who I feel God has created me to be. Yet, as I wait for all my grades to come in, I'm still somewhat unsatisfied. I occasionally think to myself in social settings, "If only they knew (while shaking my head)."
Have you ever...
thought people misunderstood your potential, personality, and prospective value?
Have you ever...
wondered why you were chosen last (or not at all), despite being qualified?
Have you ever...
felt as if they didn't know you existed? You might be their best option.
In some instances, it is almost as if they're...ignoring what's standing (right) here in front of them.
6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old,
he will not depart from it.
Alright, let's see here...
I remember when I was in about middle school or so I was a part of a summer camp at a church. Just so happens that this camp was held at my old church (in fact the one in which I was baptized). To make a long story short, when I had went there before we were uprooted to help start a church plant there was a young lady whom I was extremely interested in. She was beautiful. As luck would have it, she ended up being at the summer camp too. I thought desperately of how to go about getting her attention and making my dreams become a reality. I never really talked to her brother much when we were younger; he's always quiet. But he's an older brother, how do I navigate that?
The summer came and went and I enjoyed myself. I flirted with her on and off, got to see her smile. However, in the midst of pursuing her I was blinded to someone who was interested in me. She (another young lady) would talk to me and we'd chill, but I never really thought to look at her in a different way. It's one of those situations where you kind of dedicate the friend zone to someone by default because they're not your first choice. I mean, she'd even talk to me about getting with the girl I was crushing on. Now that's a friend! One day, after I believe I had decided to not bother with the first girl anymore I was talking to my "friend". She told me that she liked me and almost immediately I apologized for not "noticing" sooner. If I had been paying attention or possibly more importantly not been so caught up in having "that one", I would've availed myself to the opportunity I was looking for, with someone as equally (if not more) deserving.
Even as I write this I'm being reminded of times then and now of how this still rings true. Perhaps it is for you as well.
Have you ever been on some sort of pursuit only to miss everything you were looking for or at a minimum come to realize you didn't get close to what you expected? Had you taken time out to slow down or stop and smell the roses, you'd be better off than you are. Opportunity lost. Chance gone.
Any other stories...hmm.
I've recently had some changes in conversation with my roommate who has come to understand that I'm "spiritually gifted". I'll let you determine what that means. My thing is, if you live with someone long enough you should have some idea of what they're like beyond the house life. How is it we live with people and don't know as much about them as we should, especially when we engage them in conversation on the daily? My beef isn't that you should know who I am. My beef is when you talk to me as if I am who you THINK I am, without having a clue as to who you're really talking to.
Case and Point: When I was an intern (I told this story previously) I attended some feedback session with other interns at my job with some high-ranking official (or at least in their mind). They wanted honest thoughts and feedback. I gave mine. We exchanged words back and forth (all polite, but in disagreement). I felt a certain way, but this official passed me off as being some undergraduate student who wasn't diligent and meticulous in keeping up with the application process. The truth was their application process....sucked (and that's being generous). Now, at this point Official A feels/thinks/sees me in a certain way. Before I left said internship I happened to mention to this same person where I went to school; speechless.
Be careful when you think you know who you're talking to, there's a good chance that you don't. This is an affirmation as to why you should not only "love your neighbor as yourself", but also take the extra step to treat others as well as possible. You never know.
To put it lightly I have been involved on a heavy "rotation program" in the church since I could walk. I've done a lot of things. Too many to name here. In fact I don't really care to share; however, I will share this. One of my most recent opportunities to serve the church along with some really GREAT (i.e. Awesome) people.
SN: Let it be known that I didn't make this video; therefore it is happen stance; my face appearing as such.
When I was, say 8 or 9 years old while we were visiting churches before our new church started (which I was one of the founding members of), we were at a particular church on some Sunday. Now, I had been to church before. In fact I had been in church since I was born. This Sunday was different though. It was myself, my Pastor, and my mom. We all stayed in the service. It may have been a Baptist church, but I don't recall for sure.
The sermon was given and as usual they offered/extended the gift of salvation. So for those who aren't familiar, generally in church services you'll have some music, prayer and a sermon of sorts. For certain types of churches (especially in the black church) they end the service (prior to the near-ending really) with an opportunity for several decisions:
Many people often remember major decisions in their lives and on this day I made one. After the sermon was preached the offering of "decisional opportunity" (new phrase) was presented. One simply goes up to the front of the church once they have decided that they will respond. I told my mom, "I want to go up." She didn't hinder me; smiled, "Go ahead." Now remember, I'm not an ordinary 8 or 9 year old (but maybe I really was) at the time. Some other people came up as well. Here is where I got ignored.
Maybe they thought I was someone's child, yet I walked up there by myself. I stood in my own space as if I was indeed my own person. They didn't even acknowledge me. Usually by this point you're assigned to some "caretaker" (for lack of better words) who will take you to a room and explain the decision you've made and what is to come next. So off we went outside the sanctuary, down a sidewalk and into another room. I thought to myself, "Let's see how long this goes. I know they see me." (Maybe they didn't.) The "counseling" session goes on and they handed out some "tract like" information (e.g. Church information, Next steps, Congratulations/Welcome to the family). For those unfamiliar with tracts, they're often used in evangelistic opportunities. The information given though for those who had made decisions were tailored completely for this context.
Show's over and mom meets me outside:
Why do you think that is? I made the "leap of faith" like everyone else. Was my decision not sincere?
For all that Jesus spoke about letting the children come unto him, for all of the references to how we are little children at some point in our faith or our approach to the Kingdom...why was a child completely ignored?
Here's the wrap-up:
Ever notice how children are the ones to lead us to innovative ways of thinking about things because their ability to dream, imagine, and create hasn't been violated? Why is it that children are told to dream big dreams only to grow up and become adults who punch clocks and live in a debt-ridden society without having unspeakable joy? Can you explain to me how we start out as these tiny individuals that have so much anticipation about life until 20 or so years later we seem to only manage to get by?
I'd argue that one of our most profound problems in society today is our inability to be like a child. Remember there's a HUGE difference between being child-like and child-ish.
The summer came and went and I enjoyed myself. I flirted with her on and off, got to see her smile. However, in the midst of pursuing her I was blinded to someone who was interested in me. She (another young lady) would talk to me and we'd chill, but I never really thought to look at her in a different way. It's one of those situations where you kind of dedicate the friend zone to someone by default because they're not your first choice. I mean, she'd even talk to me about getting with the girl I was crushing on. Now that's a friend! One day, after I believe I had decided to not bother with the first girl anymore I was talking to my "friend". She told me that she liked me and almost immediately I apologized for not "noticing" sooner. If I had been paying attention or possibly more importantly not been so caught up in having "that one", I would've availed myself to the opportunity I was looking for, with someone as equally (if not more) deserving.
Even as I write this I'm being reminded of times then and now of how this still rings true. Perhaps it is for you as well.
Have you ever been on some sort of pursuit only to miss everything you were looking for or at a minimum come to realize you didn't get close to what you expected? Had you taken time out to slow down or stop and smell the roses, you'd be better off than you are. Opportunity lost. Chance gone.
Any other stories...hmm.
I've recently had some changes in conversation with my roommate who has come to understand that I'm "spiritually gifted". I'll let you determine what that means. My thing is, if you live with someone long enough you should have some idea of what they're like beyond the house life. How is it we live with people and don't know as much about them as we should, especially when we engage them in conversation on the daily? My beef isn't that you should know who I am. My beef is when you talk to me as if I am who you THINK I am, without having a clue as to who you're really talking to.
Case and Point: When I was an intern (I told this story previously) I attended some feedback session with other interns at my job with some high-ranking official (or at least in their mind). They wanted honest thoughts and feedback. I gave mine. We exchanged words back and forth (all polite, but in disagreement). I felt a certain way, but this official passed me off as being some undergraduate student who wasn't diligent and meticulous in keeping up with the application process. The truth was their application process....sucked (and that's being generous). Now, at this point Official A feels/thinks/sees me in a certain way. Before I left said internship I happened to mention to this same person where I went to school; speechless.
Be careful when you think you know who you're talking to, there's a good chance that you don't. This is an affirmation as to why you should not only "love your neighbor as yourself", but also take the extra step to treat others as well as possible. You never know.
To put it lightly I have been involved on a heavy "rotation program" in the church since I could walk. I've done a lot of things. Too many to name here. In fact I don't really care to share; however, I will share this. One of my most recent opportunities to serve the church along with some really GREAT (i.e. Awesome) people.
SN: Let it be known that I didn't make this video; therefore it is happen stance; my face appearing as such.
For more information on the Bishop Melvin G. Talbert Leadership Institute go here.
For the purposes of this entry, understand that the folks featured here may (or may not)
be recognized for the gifts, talents, and value they bring to the church.
For the purposes of this entry, understand that the folks featured here may (or may not)
be recognized for the gifts, talents, and value they bring to the church.
Lastly, this is the foundation for this entry; my main reason for writing this.
When I was, say 8 or 9 years old while we were visiting churches before our new church started (which I was one of the founding members of), we were at a particular church on some Sunday. Now, I had been to church before. In fact I had been in church since I was born. This Sunday was different though. It was myself, my Pastor, and my mom. We all stayed in the service. It may have been a Baptist church, but I don't recall for sure.
The sermon was given and as usual they offered/extended the gift of salvation. So for those who aren't familiar, generally in church services you'll have some music, prayer and a sermon of sorts. For certain types of churches (especially in the black church) they end the service (prior to the near-ending really) with an opportunity for several decisions:
- Accept the gift of salvation (i.e. Pronounce your belief in Christ and receive the forgiveness of sins); one might also "recommit" their life to Christ
- Join the church
- Receive prayer
This is something that happens at every service like clock work. If you didn't go up last week, Lord willing you'll make it to service again and live long enough to make a decision.
Many people often remember major decisions in their lives and on this day I made one. After the sermon was preached the offering of "decisional opportunity" (new phrase) was presented. One simply goes up to the front of the church once they have decided that they will respond. I told my mom, "I want to go up." She didn't hinder me; smiled, "Go ahead." Now remember, I'm not an ordinary 8 or 9 year old (but maybe I really was) at the time. Some other people came up as well. Here is where I got ignored.
Maybe they thought I was someone's child, yet I walked up there by myself. I stood in my own space as if I was indeed my own person. They didn't even acknowledge me. Usually by this point you're assigned to some "caretaker" (for lack of better words) who will take you to a room and explain the decision you've made and what is to come next. So off we went outside the sanctuary, down a sidewalk and into another room. I thought to myself, "Let's see how long this goes. I know they see me." (Maybe they didn't.) The "counseling" session goes on and they handed out some "tract like" information (e.g. Church information, Next steps, Congratulations/Welcome to the family). For those unfamiliar with tracts, they're often used in evangelistic opportunities. The information given though for those who had made decisions were tailored completely for this context.
Show's over and mom meets me outside:
Mom: How did it go?
Me: They never said anything to me...
Why do you think that is? I made the "leap of faith" like everyone else. Was my decision not sincere?
For all that Jesus spoke about letting the children come unto him, for all of the references to how we are little children at some point in our faith or our approach to the Kingdom...why was a child completely ignored?
After all, I'm just a child...
Here's the wrap-up:
Ever notice how children are the ones to lead us to innovative ways of thinking about things because their ability to dream, imagine, and create hasn't been violated? Why is it that children are told to dream big dreams only to grow up and become adults who punch clocks and live in a debt-ridden society without having unspeakable joy? Can you explain to me how we start out as these tiny individuals that have so much anticipation about life until 20 or so years later we seem to only manage to get by?
I'd argue that one of our most profound problems in society today is our inability to be like a child. Remember there's a HUGE difference between being child-like and child-ish.
Why?
The quick skinny:
- Sometimes you get tired of being ignored
What does this mean for me? #theReader
It's time to do a better job of acknowledging those around you, whether they are of use to you or not. Matters not if you know them personally, let them know that you appreciate their existence.
This is F.U.N. (For Ur Needs) Use your KEYS
- Know that not everyone will see you for who you really are
- Expect to grow out your comfort zone of ignorance (i.e. Ignoring people)
- Your appreciation should underlie your acknowledgement (of other people)
- Stay humble, even when you KNOW they see you
Challenge
- Consider what's standing here
- Do something about it...if there's an opportunity to be had
Bob Ya' Head
Where R U Going? (GRITS) Lyrics*
*It's hard to find great lyrics for this...hit me up if you want a "better" version
