Man Up, Be a Man...Manly Man #manhood

What it do cooool! Alright, alright, alriiiiiight #kevinHart

I'm somewhat excited. Not gonna lie....why?! Well, today's the big X-X birthday #roundOfApplause Kind of at that point in life where you get to see me for who I am #aMan. That's right. You can't deny this, I'm a straight man's man.

I limit the number of times I cry. I drive around without asking for directions. I can even put together all types of furniture without looking at the instructions. Why? You guessed it, because I'm a man.

Now the question is...where in the world did I get my pre-requisites for manhood?

#interlude

Now that we've had a chance to get a few jolies in, let's continue....

For the record I'm blessed to have my father, my daddy, my hero in my life and hope to not have to deliver a eulogy any time soon. What' somewhat ironic is that in the previous clip from the original version of Death at a Funeral, the Father in question seemed to have engaged in some extra-marital affairs. These might have made him out to be, less of a man, post-humously of course.

Beyond this though there's a question that I often think about especially in the homosexual debate of today's time. What does it mean to be a man? As Lecrae states in the song "No Regrets", "And you not a man based on your age and your gender"...now that carries a lot of weight in and of itself as a statement. Is that what really determines a "man"? Is it purely anatomical, biological, psychological and physical (i.e. age)? I don't know but that also depends on who you ask.

#flashBack

Growing up as a child my parents worked very hard to ensure that we had what we needed as a family. This gave me opportunities to have a lot of interactions with my father from birth (as the only child) up til middle school when he seemed to "disappear" because of his change in work schedule. When I say "disappear" I simply mean that I didn't see him as much, half-a-day at best in the mornings before school. In fact my father made sure I got to school for most of if not all of my K-12 education. If that's not being a dad, I don't know what is.

He'd take my brother and me to the babysitter (when my mother worked weekends) and I remember specifically that there were a number of occasions where he'd be dressing me before leaving the house. He didn't only dress me though, he alo taught me how to dress at the same time #tuckInYourShirt #wearABelt. Now as most men who grew up with a father or father figure can attest, "dads" always have their way of doing things. Undoubtedly, along the way we figure out "better" ways, or our ways of doing the same things. The relationship between my father and I is no different.

What intrigues me most in thinking back on my being fathered is that he didn't enforce "masculinity"upon me. Sure there were subtle scenarios that were sure to impress me, but I firmly believe more than anything he allowed me (for the most part) to be myself. It's a hard balance to strike because on the one hand this is your off-spring and you are responsble for them, on the other God has made them to be a special person and you need not interfere with that process of them coming into their own.

Ha, I even remember how my father taught me to handle indiscretions performed against me #defense. I was to inform the authorities in charge (i.e. Teachers) if someone bothered me and if the indiscretions continued after informing the proper authorities with no action resulting I was to do what was necessary to prevent said indiscretion from occuring further. One such incident did happen on the playground in elementary school. The teachers did nothing. I asked the kid to stop one last time...#bop The teachers questioned me, but in all honesty I didn't care (even after explaining to them that I had reported the incident earlier) because I did what my daddy told me to. If anything was gonna happen, he'd handle it!

I'll admit in all my curiousity I did play with Barbie's a few times trying to understand what the fascination was that young girls had for this "toy" and why Ken was "the man". Also, the concept of exploring your imagination in the use of "dolls" was intriguing to me. Likewise when I was able to garner enough of my own currency to purchase action figures, I did so...and action they did experience!

#flashFoward

I'm pretty sure Eve is to blame for man's current woes. Some (including my pastor) might suggest that Adam should've been a man and took responsibility for eating of the fruit instead of saying, "This woman you gave me..." He's the head of the household. How does that look?! Even so the woman was "bone-of-his-bone" and "flesh-of-his-flesh", so even if he blamed her, he's really only blaming himself.

I firmly believe as with any type of doctrine, education, impression...the idea of manhood comes from what you've been told and have experienced. Someone who may be more feminine or is the epitome of effiminacy shouldn't automatically be made out to be something less than a man.

We've come to believe so many stereotypes of what it means to be a man, so much so that some of us won't even bother messing with Pinterest (an online "bulletin board" of sorts where people 'pin' things of interest). It's okay though because someone has many manly alternatives available for you here.

I have a good friend who is currently the God Father for two young girls because they don't have a "father-figure" in their life. This is for what I assume is the following 2 reasons: 1) They have 2 moms and 2) He's a very close friend of the parents. There's no issue with this but...he's gay, so I wonder how that "effects" if at all his ability to be a father figure in their lives. Guess I'll have to test and see. As many may know there's a spectrum for gay men (as for all men in general),one end being extremely "manly" (i.e. Gruff, rugged, firm, etc) all the way to whimpy (i.e. Not much to them at all). Not sure if sexual orientation is a big enough factor to downgrade someone's manliness.

Apparently, fatherhood causes a chemical change in a man. This explains how daddy's little girl can change the heart of a man who was once thought to be completely cold, lacking emotion, or "autocratic".

In closing I offer this comparison of 10 vs. 10

Ten Lies Men Believe:

1. God made men superior...
2. Won't be Close to Pops
3. Count Ma Paper #thatsARealMan
4. (I'm) King of this Castle
5. Sex is for me!
6. I can hit her. It's okay.
7. Forget bromance...I'm not gay
8. No weaknesses here
9. Neva Seen Me Cry
10. A Woman Can't Pray 4 Me

  

Top 10 Things My Father Taught Me:

1. Keep God first.
2. Protect yourself at all times.
3. Don't be afraid to walk away. 
4. Read a book!
5. Take care of business.
6. Forgive & then love some more.
7. School first. Women second.
8. Life is a marathon. Start running...
9. Work hard.
10. Be better than me.

Happy B-Day to my Dad!

GraceNPeace,

liMitz


P.S. We must rise above what we thought, what we've been taught and start to see through our eyes with our hearts. Honesty will give you complete freedom, but you first have to be able to move beyond the "frame of mind" that you're in, which really is a cell of imprisonment because you haven't learned to think for yourself.

Check out this example: Great Dad, Great Man (Added 8/31/2012)

Man Up (116 ft...et al)