If you don't, it might be International Single's Day or something along those lines.
Today begs the question though, "How do you love?"
The first "L" that we're gonna hear from is Lil Wayne in his song "How to Love", which stories the struggle that many of us (not just women) go through in trying to not only find out who we are, but also someone who will love us for who we are.
When I first came across this song after it emerged I was intrigued by Lil Wayne's approach. This was most likely due to the music that he (and other artists) usually are known for in which they demean women. However, the message rings true and is something that you or someone you know has experienced, or may be experiencing even today, on this day when we celebrate love.
Here are the words from the chorus:
You had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart
Never really had luck, couldn’t never figure out
How to love
How to love
You had alot of moments that didn’t last forever
Now you in the corner tryna put it together
How to love
How to love
I mean, in just thinking about the issue at hand: How does one love? Is it something that's innate, organic, automatic? Can you learn how to love? Does it just happen...when it's real? (How do you know when it's real?)
There are so many more questions that you or I could ask when it comes to this. Does anyone really have love figured out?! Is it even possible to know true love...
The second "L" that we'll hear from is Leon Phelps better known as "The Ladies Man" (played by comedian Tim Meadows). This movie is about a radio disk jockey who seems to turn all of the ladies on (given his name). I'll spare you the details; however, I was curious to see what Leon might have to say about love.
What is love?
What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness?
Is it not the sweetest flower?
Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds?
Does not the wind love the dirt?
Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to?
– Leon Phelps (The Ladies Man)
If you haven't seen the movie, it's a very good watch...clearly Leon has an interesting perspective on love. He seems to have more questions than answers, which for many people is how they feel about love in general. This might be the case if you haven't been linked to someone for a while, or in a permanent form/fashion (e.g. Partners, Marriage, etc.)
So, thus far we've heard from an artist and a connoisseur of relationships (or breaking them?).
Before the last "L", gives their thoughts, let's take a quick jump and look at an example from the Bible of a woman that may or may not have had a similar circumstance compared to the one in the "How to Love" video.
In John 4 Jesus is on his way "out of town" and stops at a well. A Samaritan woman finds him there, and as the story goes Jesus asks for a drink of water. Two things are important here: 1) Jesus asks a woman for water and 2) Jesus' people didn't too much "care" for the Samaritans. They get to talking and Jesus reveals himself to the woman by telling her things that only God would know about, after making the statement that he could essentially show her to a source of "living water" (i.e. A source that never runs dry).
15 “Please, sir,” the woman said, “give me this water!
Then I’ll never be thirsty again,
and I won’t have to come here to get water.”
16 “Go and get your husband,” Jesus told her.
17 “I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied.
Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband—
18 for you have had five husbands,
and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now.
You certainly spoke the truth!”
19 “Sir,” the woman said, “you must be a prophet..."
I wonder what the lady initially thought. We get some context here, but if someone put your business out in the open like that and you had never met this person before, wouldn't you think something weird/strange was going on?!
The part that I'd like to focus on is that this woman had supposedly had five husbands and upon meeting Jesus is staying with a man with whom she has no marital relations. Why did she have five husbands? Is there a significance in her having that many...or was she like some people today (men and women included) who just kind of bounce around until they find a better fit?
Most importantly I think it's pretty awesome that Jesus didn't hold her relationship status against her. He told her in truth and in love that what she was doing wasn't ideal, and I'm sure she knew this.
So many times we'll look at how people act, the way they are, and what they do...we think we know the whole story, but just as the little girl who was inappropriately touched, grew into a young lady with insecurities...you just never know what someone's story is. Even worse, we may project our own stories, histories, backgrounds and insecurities on to other people and think that we know them better than they know themselves. This type of thinking can be very destructive for everyone involved.
And to hear from our last "L"; liMitz, "Oh, am I on???"
First, I want you to think about cholesterol. Cholesterol? Yes, cholesterol. Why? Because there are multiple types of cholesterol (just like chocolate/candy), but today we're going to take a quick look at 2 types.
HDL (Good) Cholesterol and LDL (Bad) Cholesterol. High-density lipoprotein can help prevent heart attacks, whereas low-density lipoprotein helps you to accumulate more plaque in the walls of your arteries, thus increasing your chances for a heart attack. What does this have to do with love? I'm glad you asked.
Just as there are multiple types of cholesterol, so it is with love (e.g. Eros, Philia, Agape, etc). Love can also have a good or bad effect on you, potentially leading to all types of "heart" conditions (e.g. Heart-ache, Heart-break, and Heart-attacks). Sometimes when we are used, abused, and confused about our current/past relationships it seems as if a part of us dies. In this case, the scenario is no different than what happens during an actual heart attack when blood flow is cut off. Without circulation there's no oxygenation, meaning your heart can't work and you can't breathe.
J. Holiday had a song out a while ago called "Suffocate", in which he couldn't breathe or do anything away from (and sometimes with) the one he loved. If this is the case for you...might not be the type of love you need.
This would be the part when I tell you about my relationships to bring the convo full circle...you're going to have to get the book for that one. But there is one more thing.
What is love? In 1 Corinthians 13 we get a very good look at what love is, what it should be, what it can be, and most importantly a lot more questions than answers as far as how to love in these ways.
Love is...
Only a partial list there, but it seems that love is something which can take a lifetime to really get a good understanding of. A lot of people use that chapter to think of love in terms of a marriage, or relationship when in fact this "love" is how we should relate to everyone.
I've taken more time than I've wanted to from your special day, so I'll end with this.
Love and do it without fear. Don't just love anybody, but love everybody as you would want to be loved. When it comes to significant others, relationships, and investing ourselves emotionally, let's be smart about who we love, and how we love, even if we're still learning. Never discount someone because they can't love or are having trouble. Unless you know their story, they may be in need of as much love as you are.
And with that I say...
Love you,
liMitz
Bob Ya’ Head
The part that I'd like to focus on is that this woman had supposedly had five husbands and upon meeting Jesus is staying with a man with whom she has no marital relations. Why did she have five husbands? Is there a significance in her having that many...or was she like some people today (men and women included) who just kind of bounce around until they find a better fit?
Most importantly I think it's pretty awesome that Jesus didn't hold her relationship status against her. He told her in truth and in love that what she was doing wasn't ideal, and I'm sure she knew this.
So many times we'll look at how people act, the way they are, and what they do...we think we know the whole story, but just as the little girl who was inappropriately touched, grew into a young lady with insecurities...you just never know what someone's story is. Even worse, we may project our own stories, histories, backgrounds and insecurities on to other people and think that we know them better than they know themselves. This type of thinking can be very destructive for everyone involved.
And to hear from our last "L"; liMitz, "Oh, am I on???"
First, I want you to think about cholesterol. Cholesterol? Yes, cholesterol. Why? Because there are multiple types of cholesterol (just like chocolate/candy), but today we're going to take a quick look at 2 types.
HDL (Good) Cholesterol and LDL (Bad) Cholesterol. High-density lipoprotein can help prevent heart attacks, whereas low-density lipoprotein helps you to accumulate more plaque in the walls of your arteries, thus increasing your chances for a heart attack. What does this have to do with love? I'm glad you asked.
Just as there are multiple types of cholesterol, so it is with love (e.g. Eros, Philia, Agape, etc). Love can also have a good or bad effect on you, potentially leading to all types of "heart" conditions (e.g. Heart-ache, Heart-break, and Heart-attacks). Sometimes when we are used, abused, and confused about our current/past relationships it seems as if a part of us dies. In this case, the scenario is no different than what happens during an actual heart attack when blood flow is cut off. Without circulation there's no oxygenation, meaning your heart can't work and you can't breathe.
J. Holiday had a song out a while ago called "Suffocate", in which he couldn't breathe or do anything away from (and sometimes with) the one he loved. If this is the case for you...might not be the type of love you need.
This would be the part when I tell you about my relationships to bring the convo full circle...you're going to have to get the book for that one. But there is one more thing.
What is love? In 1 Corinthians 13 we get a very good look at what love is, what it should be, what it can be, and most importantly a lot more questions than answers as far as how to love in these ways.
Love is...
- Patient
- Kind
- Not envious
- Not boastful
- Not self-seeking
- Not a record keeper of wrongs
- Never failing
Only a partial list there, but it seems that love is something which can take a lifetime to really get a good understanding of. A lot of people use that chapter to think of love in terms of a marriage, or relationship when in fact this "love" is how we should relate to everyone.
I've taken more time than I've wanted to from your special day, so I'll end with this.
Love and do it without fear. Don't just love anybody, but love everybody as you would want to be loved. When it comes to significant others, relationships, and investing ourselves emotionally, let's be smart about who we love, and how we love, even if we're still learning. Never discount someone because they can't love or are having trouble. Unless you know their story, they may be in need of as much love as you are.
And with that I say...
Love you,
liMitz
Bob Ya’ Head
Looking for Love (Trip Lee)
Love of My Life (B-Luv ft. Canton Jones)
Love Will (Jordin Sparks b.k.a. Sparkle)
*Apologies for the male bias...maybe next year (time), we'll address it from multiple perspectives
