imdatruth: ..._ _

SOS distress signal (audio):

If you're unable to hear it or having trouble seeing the player you can head over here: SOS.
It may play only once (had trouble getting the play button to work).

So, why SOS? Well, contrary to popular belief SOS isn't an acronym for something. For example, you may hear "save our souls", "save our ship", etc. SOS, for those who don't know are the letters that are created by the nature of the distress call in morse code which consists of 3 dits (S), 3 dahs (O) and another 3 dits(S).

What does this have to do with us, you, me...especially on the celebration of another Saint Valentine's Day?

Forgiveness...
some times people forget that this can be a day for forgiveness just as much as it can be a day to express genuine affections towards someone.

John 3:16-17 (ESV)
16 “For God so loved the world,[a] that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

Footnote: [a]-Or "For this is how God loved the world".

Throughout my lifetime I've been in and out of relationships...probably sounds like something you do as well, and maybe are currently doing. You have your good days, your bad days. There are the days you want to forget and those which you always seem to remember despite the outcome. What happens when you're unable to move on or unable to forgive? Is it possible that there really is a point of "irreconcilable differences"?! (Or) Is it just two people who are not willing to agree to disagree, possibly due to their immaturity or selfish and stubborn motives?

Whatever the case may be, however that person may have hurt you (or you hurt them), it's always good to forgive. Forgiveness allows you to be released from the bondage of that situation and/or circumstance. It gives you more room to breathe and from a psychological standpoint, assists you in moving in the right direction towards recovery, rehabilitation and regaining your sense of self.

Some of us fall prey to destructive relationships all too often. Even in wanting to be good people, we may find it hard to really bring closure to the situation. I would've used Rihanna's SOS video as an example, but then people might venture off to find some of her latest tracks which are nothing like the same lady in the SOS video...I digress.

Here are the lyrics from her song:

S.O.S. please someone help me.
It's not healthy... for me to feel this way
Y.O.U. are making this hard,
I can't take it, see it don't feel right

S.O.S. please someone help me
It's not healthy... for me to feel this way
Y.O.U. are making this hard
You got me tossin' and turnin' and can't sleep at night

Although the intention of this song may have been to place on some sort of musical chart, the chorus undoubtedly touches on a subject that is all too relevant in the conversational topic of forgiveness. It's not healthy to harbor certain types of feelings or emotions towards other folks or even have them think and engage that way towards you. It can easily seem as if they are making things hard, when in fact you might be causing a lot of the pain and strife brought unto you. One of the effects of this stress (since she's making a dis-stress call) is that she's unable to sleep. There are many other consequences that play themselves out in more dastardly ways.

You may get to a point where you feel like I have on several occasions. It'd be better if the person was to all but disappear off the face of the earth in order that you might be left with some sense of sanity. Speaking of forgiveness, how does it work? If someone offends me, how do I go about forgiving them?

Matthew 18:21-22(MSG)
21At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?"
22Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.

This doesn't mean that you count how many times you forgive the person. What it does mean is that you should continue to forgive them, even when it hurts!

Back to my story(ies). In one case in particular I had been trying to patch things up with this individual for the longest. Part of me says that they're stubborn and we'll never make headway. The other part continues to hope, trust and love. Lo and behold one night I was on the phone and after not making any type of progress I got the feeling that what she wanted was an apology. Wait a minute...you want me...to apologize?! Surely I had done this before, but perhaps not in a way that she was able to understand that I was truly sorry for all that had happened. I had no idea that I may not have apologized directly. Even if I had, it was okay for me to do it again. Things began to change for the better from that day forward. It wasn't and has not been perfect, but it's progress.

You'll notice that the art work seems a lil "torn". This was taken after it had been up for some time and endured a rain storm. Such is many of our lives when dealing with heartache and unforgiveness.

Giving credit where it's due...

Since I'm feeling generous, I'm going to add in a bonus story..."don't say I never gave you nothing".

A quick example of me being on the giving end of forgiveness.

Breakdown:

Met a young lady and the relationship advanced quickly over the course of 4 months
Christmas rolled around and things had changed...

prior to that in November I witnessed the ground getting shaky

January came and the "coldest winter" of my life was in full force #heartBreak
Twas an ugly mess and it took at least a good year to 1.5yrs to fully recover

Four years later after meeting this young lady before I was to go off to start my graduate studies I felt the Spirit nudge me to go and see her. Of course I didn't want to due to everything that had happened previously. We had kept in touch over the years and things were kewl...I had no need to see her or her family. What I didn't realize was that I wasn't going for me...it was for her.

We talked and caught up quickly. It turned out that she was getting married (which I knew from her contacting me via email earlier that Summer). I happened to mention that I was reading The Purpose Driven Life (again) and had noted our relationship as the WORST thing that had ever happened to me up to that point in my life. I explained that there was no bashing of any sort but that there'd be reference to our interactions in a book at some point in our lifetime.

Eventually that visit came to an end....interestingly enough before it ended she told me about the guy she was engaged to marry. It turns out the same thing(s) she put me through, she did to him as well. He almost left her, had it not been for friends, family, and other committed couples guiding them along the way. If I didn't know any better I'd say I set her up to learn a thing or two. They did get married at some point later...here's where her reception of my forgiveness came and showed exactly how much she needed that visit more than I.

I was on the way driving home and as soon as I got there my phone went off #text...from who? Take a guess...that's right, it was her. It turns out that she had plans to go out with friends. All she could do is sit there and take in everything that had happened between us and how she allowed herself to put her then fiancee through the same things. I'm not sure if she had understood the magnitude of everything that went down. I was a sophomore in college, she a senior in highschool. I couldn't blame her. I loved her. I knew it didn't all make sense while we were going through, but somehow 4 years later it all "came to a head" and she finally got it.

Had I not gone to see her there's no telling what bearing that may have had on our ongoing relationship down the road as well as her current marriage. You never really know what forgiveness does for people. Speaking of which, this is why we should forgive.

Matthew 6:12 (NLT)
12 and forgive us our sins,
as we have forgiven those who sin against us.

As stated in the Lord's Prayer, we are forgiven by God the Father in accordance to our forgiveness for others. Another way to read this verse is, "Forgive us as we forgive others". All seeds sown will be reaped. If you judge than you will be judged with the same measure. So is the story for forgiveness.

Col. 3:12-15 (NASB)
12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. 14 Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.

Here's the take away:
It's not always easy but you got to learn to bear it...

Bear with You (Trip Lee)